painnnnnnn

I've never really understood the concept of painkillers and why people are addicted to them, but I'm kinda getting it now. I've been dealing with back pain issues on and off since I was a teenager, and my 2010 started off with a fresh round of pain. Just when I thought it was going away, I stupidly partook in flag football drills, and voila, the back pain came back with a ROAR. And not in my back, but all the way down my leg. My self-diagnosis of a herniated disc/pinched nerve was all but confirmed by my chiropractor and physical therapist, and well, $125 worth of co-pay per week for the next few weeks means no more JCrew/Anthro shopping for me. UGHHHHH! So not only do I feel like a lame bum who is clearly ONLY 26 years old on paper, but I'm not even gonna look as cute. GAH. Peeps, it's important to take care of yourself and your body. I neglect mine all too much. And yeah, I might be complaining about the exorbitant amount of money I have to spend on taking care of my body (WHEN OH WHEN DOES THE REFORMED HEALTH CARE BILL KICK IN!), but it's probably going to be the best thing I do for myself, even better than the cute dress and flats I could've bought at Urban. (But barely....)

Take care of yourselves! Listen to your body! Don't play football if you really don't feel like you should! Yeah, I'm just full of great advice. And no, as much as I would love some, I'm not addicted to painkillers. I just like my little orange Motrin pills, taken as directed on the box. If you do have a percocet or 2 lying around though, call me. ;)

time is not my friend.

Almost everyone I know in my life is punctual. Like, either to the T, or early. I am.. the complete opposite. When I tell you I'm gonna get somewhere at a certain time, you should most certainly add 10-12 minutes to that, or else you are gonna end up sorely disappointed. And even though I'm always running late, I expect punctuality from everyone because I know everyone else is always on time. A little messed up, no?

I feel really bad about myself when I do this, I really do. And considering I'm late ALL THE TIME, I pretty much feel really bad about myself ALL THE TIME. There is nothing more crushing than a disappointing look from your loved one, or even worse yet, when they expect it from you. Also, there is nothing worse than that sinking feeling in your stomach, rushing to get to your destination, because you told your boyfriend you were gonna be at his place 15 min ago (just an example). Cue: disappointed look. I seriously don't even know what I do to be so late; time just seems to slip away from me when I am trying to get somewhere. The point is, I'm trying! To get ready faster, to leave the house earlier, to drive faster (haha!), whatever. (I kid about the driving faster part...) I'm not naive enough to make this my New Year's/Month's/Week's resolution and set myself up for failure or anything, but it just means that I'm tired of being late, so I am gonna try extra hard. Jen Shin WILL be punctual. Someday. Somewhat.

sadbones.

Yesterday I found out that I didn't get the job I had applied and interviewed for 2 weeks ago. I knew I wasn't going to get it, cause you just know when you have that feeling in your gut that it didn't go as well as you would've liked it to. But it's still a disappointment when you go through all that trouble for "nothing," right? Well, the way I see it, it wasn't nothing, since it was definitely the first step in getting my feet back in the water of this whole job searching/applying/interviewing process, but it still kinda stings either way.

I'm just so unmotivated at work. My productivity level and work ethic are shot, and I don't know how to get out of this funk. This rejection should be the kick in the butt I need to really start hardcore job applying, but I don't even know if it will be. I've got people around me cheering me on, but I'm just so tired. Though, I attribute the tiredness to my lack of coffee/caffeine, which I am giving up for Lent. Day 1, barely down. 39 more days to go. Yippeeeeeee.

Current Music: Death Cab for Cutie - Marching Bands of Manhattan. The title of my blog is also taken from another great Death Cab song, but I do think Marching Bands is my favorite song from them. And believe me, picking a fave song from their catalog is no easy feat. I just love: Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole/Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound

Out with the old, in with the new.

So it's already been 1 year since I started this blog. My entries have been random and far in between, something I'm not proud of. I am proud of my work on Life in Boxes though, so there's that silver lining.

I just re-read my very first entry, which talks about my New Year's Resolutions for 2007. Looking back on it, I think 07 was quite an interesting year. I got my first real-world job, I started 2 blogs, I started running (and liking it), I had a lot of fun, I got my heart broken (kinda), and I re-discovered how kick-ass my friends are. A couple of things bogged me down in December, but for all the positives that happened in the year, I'm ready to look at the new year with a new perspective.

For 2008, I vow to:
* reach my target weight loss goal
* have a new job, new career
* log in 624 miles of running (I knocked out 3 today, so 621 more to go)
* run a 5K
* encourage/make everyone I know and who are eligible to to go out and VOTE.
* go on at least 1 international trip (LONDON), at least 1 continental trip
* work on my screenplay and/or short story
* continue writing in this blog as well as in Life in Boxes

All seems do-able. We will see. I love the fresh start of a New Year.

money money money!

I have that stupid song from the Apprentice stuck in my head. You know, the one that goes, 'money money monaay!' with the shot of his royal highness Trump and his minions walking towards the camera. Anyone?

Anyways, it's been like a month since I wrote anything. Which is a shame cause I said I wasn't going to do that, so let's plunge right back in, shall we?? Um, so this is what I have been thinking a LOT about these days. You know my problem before I was employed was that I wasn't making any money, and now my problem as a working girl is that I am not making enough money. I mean, I don't pay rent and I really don't pay for other basic necessities so I am saving a lot of moolah, but I also can't help but compare myself to my friends and peers who are currently, or will be in the future, making a lot. It's not like money is the most important thing in the world, and I'd hands down choose loving my job and what I do over making oodles of moola any day. Seriously. But like money gets you stuff and as non-materialistic or shallow as one can try to be, there's no denying that it is important in this over-materialistic and consumeralistic (is that a word??) world. I think right now it's ok cause a lot of my friends are still just starting out in the real world and finishing up school and stuff, but what's going to happen when we're all very much in the working world? As much as my pay will be increasing over time, it won't be this exponential growth. I feel like I'm going to have to work twice as long to get something or somewhere, and when you're around friends who will automatically be making a lot more than you're making at the same time, it's just not going to be fun. I really hate being negative about things, and generally I'm not a Debbie Downer despite all of my complaining about everything under the sun, but I think about the future and sometimes I worry. No money, mo problems. Sorry Biggie, but that's my outlook.