Shut up and Sing.

I know I already wrote a whole post on the Dixie Chicks, but I kinda love them. More so now that I've actually seen this film. The trailer gave me goosebumps! The film itself is even better. It was a really entertaining inside look at not only all the controversy surrounding the group, but the music industry too. I tried to get Joyce to netflix it, to no avail. :T

And in one of my favorite scenes from the whole film:

Natalie Maines: [after reading that George Bush thinks they shouldn't have their feelings hurt for people boycotting them] They shouldn't have their feelings hurt?? What a dumb fuck!
Natalie Maines: [looks into camera] You're a dumb fuck.

hahaha, i LOVE it.

the morning after.

My Super Bowl of the year, the Oscars, is over, and it was a pretty standard affair, really long and a bit predictable. All the actors who were expected to to take home the coveted prize won, except for the surprise win of Alan Arkin for Little Miss Sunshine. Well deserved, but I felt bad for Eddie Murphy, who was the frontrunner the entire awards season. It must be tough to have so many people tell you you're going to win and then not, as opposed to being the underdog that ends up winning. Anyways. Didn't think Little Miss Sunshine was going to win Best Picture, but didn't expect the Departed to win either. My guess is that the polarizing Babel and the sunny Little Miss Sunshine split the Academy voters, leaving the Departed wide open to take the big prize. Oh well.


I love fashion, and there's no greater night for fashion than the Oscars. Here are some of my picks for favorite dresses. I'm not going to waste my time on what I thought were 'eh' or downright awful.


Nicole Kidman in a beautiful red Balenciaga column dress. LOVE it! She was so pretty and spot-on with the whole package-red lips, straight blonde hair. I don't think just anyone could have pulled off this look, especially with the big bow on the side that could have looked ridiculous if not done well. Remember the disaster that was Charlize Theron's dress last year? Bows work sometimes, especially when pulled off in a classy way (are you listening, Anne Hathaway??).


I think J.Lo is the best dressed woman in Hollywood, hands down. Everyone has misses along with hits, but I think her track record shows more hits than not. This lavender Marchesa gown was very diva, very Grecian, but with a pretty feminine twist. I think her short curly bob goes really well with the dress, and I like the fact that she didn't wear much other jewelry, to draw attention to all the bling on her chest and back.

Can you say Team Reese?? She looks SO good! Take that, cheating Ryan Phillippe. I love her bangs, and I LOVE this purple dress! I like how this Nina Ricci dress is plain and simple enough at the top, then opens to a full on tiered, frilly, multi-layered gown. I don't normally love purple, but the shade(s) of this dress would make any Wellesley '06er proud.



Rachel Weisz is always really pretty, but I loved her in this metallic Vera Wang gown with the built in jewels in the bust and the train. I think she could've done without the necklace, as it takes away from the jewels by her chest, but overall, it's a beautiful gown. She looks like the perfect companion to Mr. Gold himself, the Oscar.



I didn't like the dress Beyonce wore to the Oscars itself, but this red number she had on during her Dreamgirls performance was really pretty. I couldn't find a better picture and I don't know who designed it, but I remember really liking it the entire time she was on stage. I love sashes and frilliness. Beyonce is SO over-the-top with her red carpet frocks most of the time, but I really liked this dress.

And finally, because I can:

I love Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna separately, but together?? Le sigh.

one week down

I've really been meaning to write this post like the night of my first day of work, but I've been so tired and sick that I just couldn't. I started sleeping this week at *gasp* 11:00. That may not seem late to some people, but that's early for me. I don't really believe in sleeping before midnight, for fear that I might miss out on something. What, I don't know, but magic happens. It doesn't matter anyway, cause even when I sleep at 11, I'm up half the night coughing. And because I have to wake up at 6:50 everyday, I think I have barely been getting 5 hours of sleep per night. But I'm not sleepy at work, mainly because I have adrenaline constantly running through my body from the realization that I actually have a job.

Anyways, there are a million reasons why I am so grateful for my job and the company and the people that I work with, none of which I am going to detail in this post. And even though I am only three days in, I think I'll be enjoying this for a long time. In fact, I have to. It's what I've always wanted. The other day after what seemed like a really long day of work, I was walking home from the bus stop when KT Tunstall's Suddenly I See came up on my ipod. That's when it finally hit me. I am living my dream. Don't get me wrong, I still don't know what I want to do with my life, and part of my dream isn't living at my parents' home in Palisades Park (which does have its perks, btw), but I'm doing what I imagined myself to be doing after college ended. It took 8 months to get to this point, but here I am, working at a really cool place, in the city no less, and I am enjoying what I'm doing and getting paid for it. Who knows if I'll be at Cartoon Network or at Turner for the rest of my career. That's not important. What's important is that it's a step in the direction I want to go, and there are a million roads I can take from here. Life is good, and God is great. I really feel His overwhelming love, and the way events have transpired in the past few weeks is proof of His grace. And it's up to me to express my gratitude for everything that is my life by working hard and being the best I can be, not only at my job but with everything. I'm up for the challenge. I think. No, I am! Yes, I am.

unemployed, no mo.

After months and months of sending out resumes/cover letters, going on interviews, getting rejected, and hitting low points, I have finally landed a job. I'm still in shock right now, and I don't think the high I'm feeling is going to wear off until this weekend is over, right about when I start getting nervous about the whole going-to-work-after-months-of-doing-nothing thing. I talked to my parents and they were happy too, which is pretty awesome considering I think they had given up all hope on me at this point.

So yeah. I'm going to be employed by Turner Broadcasting, at Cartoon Network, as a Team Assistant. What will I be doing? Pretty much being the right-hand man to 3 Account Executives- making phone calls, writing letters, scheduling meetings, etc. It'll be fun and exciting, and I'll be working in TV, which is super duper cool. I hope this is what it takes my dad to finally let me install cable at home.

Things are finally looking up, though my health isn't at the moment. I have a cold that has been pretty bad thus far. I'm coughing like crazy and because of that pressure, my head feels like it's going to split open any minute. I'm also coming off of a really nasty pink-eye like infection, which I caught from one of the kids at TCCC. I guess it was his goodbye present to me. =P The amount of gross discharge coming out of my eyes the first night was disgusting. Bleh. A $100 trip to the optometrist (thank goodness I will have health insurance from now on) and constantly putting in medicated eyedrops in my eyes have made the infection almost non-existent, though I have to wear glasses for another week. I need to rest up before Wednesday!

<3.

A little late, but happy Valentine's Day, courtesy of my favorite secret from this week's PostSecret V-day edition.

not ready to make nice.

A week has passed since my grandpa's death, and though it hasn't gotten any easier, life goes on. I went on my important interview. I got really into all my favorite shows. I started another part-time gig at my uncle's company. I met up with Stella and Adam over the weekend. I taught Sunday school. The world moves on, and I'm marching on too.

So. I half watched the Grammys on Sunday, and the Dixie Chicks cleaned the house out, winning like all the important awards. Good for them. I'm not a country music fan, but I kind of like them. I totally dig their we're-going-to-say-what- we-want-so-whatever-to-all-you-naysayers attitude, plus their version of Fleetwood Mac's Landslide is so so good. I really wanted to see Shut Up and Sing, a documentary about the fallout of their anti-Bush comment a couple of years ago, but since it wasn't playing anywhere around me, I will just have to netflix it when it's released on DVD.

The degree of hatred the Dixie Chicks received because of their political views was frightening if only because it undermined the idea of freedom of speech in this country. The whole boycott/death threats against the group regarding the incident was ridiculous, and it just highlighted the very worst of our country (kinda like what Borat did) and the worst in the American people, albeit a very selective group. All those people who boycotted the band and threw CD burning bonfires or whatever, did it all in the name of patriotism- basically, "The Dixie Chicks said something unpatriotic about Bush, we're going to show just how patriotic we are by publicly hating on them." The very essence of patriotism is wholeheartedly believing in the things America stands for, and our right to speak what we want is a huge part that. So yeah, you've really proven just how patriotic you are by denying someone their right to free speech. Ok, so I do understand why people were upset when it all happened and I see the flip side, because if I felt strongly about Bush and his administration and going to war, I might have taken offense at what Natalie Maines said. But a simple comment was that- a simple comment. She apologized (which she later retracted), the band clarified their stance on everything from Iraq to Bush to their love for this country, and yet people were so unforgiving. So yeah, there is a part of me that is very happy every time the Dixie Chicks sell millions of albums and win all these awards. You go girls.

current music: Lily Allen - Alright, Still album. A lot of female artists have caught my eyes (or rather, my ears) lately- Regina Spektor, Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen. I haven't heard the albums from the other two, but I recently bought Alright, Still off the strength of the first single, Smile, and I LOVE it. She's like a British Gwen Stefani, sans the heavy 80s overtones. Her lyrics are cheeky, her beats are quirky, and she oozes cool. What is not to like? My favorite songs so far are Smile, Take What You Take, and Alfie.

a tribute.

A little part of me died yesterday, when I found out that my beloved, beloved grandfather passed away at the ripe old age of 88. It would be an understatement to say that I loved him; he was a huge part of my life for so long, and I am nothing but utterly grateful to him for his love. It kills me to think how this wonderful man passed on so unexpectedly, alone, and in pain. And this minor post on an internet blog doesn't really do any justice to one of my favorite people in the world, but I just needed to gather my reeling emotions down and articulate some of the love I feel for him.

My grandpa was my best friend for a really long time. He came to the States when I was born to help take care of me, and I saw more of him than my own parents, who were busy working, for a good part of my childhood. His big physical build and stern manner might have been slightly intimidating to some, but to me, he was always this really sweet, really gentle giant who truly loved me unconditionally. Even when he went back to Korea after I became old enough to be home alone, I like to believe that we had a bond that transcended miles of distance. It was always so uplifiting to talk to him on the phone, as he had only the kindest things to say, and was encouraging in every way.

I finally got a chance to see him for the first time in a long time when I spent months in Korea back in 2005. It struck me just how old he had gotten; he was no longer this big, seemingly invincible man. The effects of time certainly showed on him, from the deepened wrinkles on his face to his slowed down movements to his much thinner body. Honestly, we didn't have tons to talk about (there's only so much a man in his late 80s and a woman in her young 20s can really relate to for hours on end), but being with him and next to him was the greatest feeling ever. Of course the thought that this might be the last time I'd see him was always present in my mind, but I was holding out on the hope that he'd live well into his 90s, and maybe even come visit us in the States. If I had known then that that would be the last time I'd ever see him, I would have hugged him harder, I would have taken more pictures of/with him (I have so little pictures of him from my Korea trip), I would have thanked him for everything he'd done for me, and I certainly wouldn't have wasted time not being with him when I could.

The last time I talked to him was a month ago, and he sounded better than he had in a long time. Perhaps that's why his death came as such a shock to me. He was loving as usual, and completely encouraging about my non-job situation (though he did say I should go to grad school instead); never did I think that that was the last time I'd ever hear his perfect voice again. And now I can't stop thinking about him, and his life, and his death, and how as I am writing this he is being buried in his hometown, and how I just want to be able to rewind time to when he was healthy and alive.

It hurts so much. In all my years of experiencing deaths (not that many, thank goodness) and broken relationships/friendships, I don't think I've ever truly known what a broken heart feels like until this. The world looks a bit less brighter and my life feels a bit less full. My heart is broken. And while I know that the pain will subside and I will get over it, life is still never going to be the same. I will never forget the events of Saturday, from the utter devastation and panic in my aunt's voice as she broke the news to me to the look on my mom's face when I had to in turn break the news to her. I will always see him in the small and big things- whoppers from Burger King (his favorite), dentures (I found his toothless grin, when he had taken them out for the night, so endearing), peanut butter (a staple in his ham-egg-cheese-lettuce-tomato-mayo breakfasdt sandwiches), bald old men, and of course, other grandfather-grandchild relationships.

I wish he has seen me land my first post-college job. I wish he had had the chance to come to the States again, as he had wanted to do for a long time. The first thing I would have done would have been to take him to Burger King. I wish he had seen his two youngest children get married. I wish, I wish, I wish. I can't continue to wish for things that are obviously not going to happen, but I also can't help it right now in my state of mind. And I know he wasn't a perfect man, as he was prone to angry outbursts and being terribly hard on people around him, but none of that matters. I never had any of that directed towards me. I know I really did have a special place in his heart. He truly believed that I could do anything. And I am going to make sure his belief in me wasn't for nothing. I am the little girl he loved, and I will be the woman he believed I could be.