being genuinely happy for others

One of the nicest things my good friend Leslie ever said was when she told me how genuinely happy she was for me when I told her I was dating. It meant a lot, because if you think about it, we use the words "I'm happy for you!" quite often, but in how many of those instances do you truly, really mean it? Now, I'm not calling any of you out and saying you don't mean what you say, but I do think the art of being truly, genuinely, unseflishly and unconditionally happy for someone without a hint of 'I wish that were me' is not the easiest of things to master. Am I wrong?

As much as I've been down in the dumps lately about my job situation and such, I'm genuinely happy for my friend and coworker, who is moving on from here and starting a brand new chapter in her life in a brand new place. She is one of my rocks at work, and I've always said that I have to leave before her cause I won't be able to handle life at this place without her, but.. I'm just reallllly happy for her. She was so miserable here (what is with this place!) and to see a light at the end of this tunnel, well, she totally deserves it! And that's when it hit me, I am unconditionally happy, despite it meaning I'm losing a friend at work, despite what the repercussions of her leaving might mean for me and my job, despite me not seeing the light at the end of my tunnel. It's a really good feeling, being happy for someone. I want to feel this more often! Hoorah!

time is not my friend.

Almost everyone I know in my life is punctual. Like, either to the T, or early. I am.. the complete opposite. When I tell you I'm gonna get somewhere at a certain time, you should most certainly add 10-12 minutes to that, or else you are gonna end up sorely disappointed. And even though I'm always running late, I expect punctuality from everyone because I know everyone else is always on time. A little messed up, no?

I feel really bad about myself when I do this, I really do. And considering I'm late ALL THE TIME, I pretty much feel really bad about myself ALL THE TIME. There is nothing more crushing than a disappointing look from your loved one, or even worse yet, when they expect it from you. Also, there is nothing worse than that sinking feeling in your stomach, rushing to get to your destination, because you told your boyfriend you were gonna be at his place 15 min ago (just an example). Cue: disappointed look. I seriously don't even know what I do to be so late; time just seems to slip away from me when I am trying to get somewhere. The point is, I'm trying! To get ready faster, to leave the house earlier, to drive faster (haha!), whatever. (I kid about the driving faster part...) I'm not naive enough to make this my New Year's/Month's/Week's resolution and set myself up for failure or anything, but it just means that I'm tired of being late, so I am gonna try extra hard. Jen Shin WILL be punctual. Someday. Somewhat.